So you are in love...

“They do not love that do not show their love,” William Shakespeare. Literally mean that they (girls) do not love those who do not love them back. Or in another form, you might come across the saying “why should I love someone who doesn’t love me”. No matter how different women and men are, we must look through all angles with caution and not repeat the same mistake over and over, with the assumption that she's sooo into you.

Women are often seen as weak and unrealistic to the real world by men. But if you look at the bright side, we are finally embracing the fact that both men and women are different. And different people have different qualities in their respective field, prior to the book Men are from mars, Women are from Venus.

We all have our own definition on love but we tend to interpret that feeling based on what we belief, which could either go very right or very wrong, depending on the person you are dealing with. Some girls take physical attraction to heart and some requires genuinity, you will never know until you make effort to understand their true nature.

Regardless of which, end of the day, they just want to be that special person and not someone on par with your movie buddy. They want you to prove it genuinely under their terms and conditions. Well as for us, we only require a simple loyalty (not meeting other boys) and uncomplicated female companionship. But do remember, the key is to understand them and not call names after knowing their capabilities.

No matter what we think, there are still significant amount of women who only favours people with good looks and luxuries. “I like boys with fast cars, they turn me on,” I bet you hear that all the time. Girls must understand that Malaysia consist mostly of the average income group. And if one would to discriminate another over wealth, he or she will be loosing out to the 70% average crowd, which in my opinion, no one really thought about.

We can’t blame girls for being like that because most of them are born shopaholic and to pass time, money is needed. So end of the day, what do girls really need?

They need moderation, a little bit on the financial side, a little bit on the genuine side and a presentable look. But if you’re neither here nor there, you’ll have a tough time getting the girl you want. Just imagine a scenario where you don’t own a vehicle and the girl you like is 20 kilometres away.

Another interesting aspect to look at is the term, love at first sight, it is often overrated and overused. The term has nothing special embedded in it but a mere good first impression. Most of the time those feelings don't last.

The first thing a girl will note is your confidence through the outfit that you’re wearing. A neat and casual outfit is a good first impression but be careful not to overdress as it gives out an uneasy feeling.

Even though is ideal to leave a good first impression, you must understand that everything has a price. Because of your efforts, they have a fair share of high expectations from you in the future. And I bet you don't realise that.

Also, girls are attracted to boys who carry themselves well in the first five minutes conversation and often assume that you have certain amount of qualities that they desire. So be careful and try not to allow her to expect too much from you, in other words, be humble.

One of the most common misinterpretation of boy's comes from the physical acceptance of a girl. If she holds your hand and hug you, that doesn’t mean she loves you. If she cares about you, that doesn’t mean she loves you. If she hates you for no reason, that doesn’t mean she love you. The fact is, some girls are naturally seductive and it is essential to know them better before thinking too much or acting out hastily.

So end of the day, does girls really care about your inner self? The answer is half no. There are numerous boys next door who are born gentlemen and suave in their natural behaviour with average looks but that is not enough get the girl going gaga over him. You'll need to pass certain standards of physical attraction and financial capabilities to get them talking to you, so make sure the girl that you are trying to get is not obsessed with physical appearances. Unless you own a Maserati, if not, listen to what I'm telling you.

On a similar issue, we often hear the overly used phrase “We love bad boys”. It is extremely metaphoric and amateur to like a bad person. As boys, we are not blind. The bad boys tend to be filthy rich, annoyingly handsome and gruesomely talented. To prove my point, girls only tag along with bad boys if he has something for her to die for. And they often rationalized it by saying good guys are boring.

So after reading afar, you’ll be cracking your head on what is the best course of action to get a girl. The rule is simple, just save money, if you have none. We must look at how the media portray relationships, it is filled with flowers, dinners and gifts that are practically marketing strategy to fool young kids that girls love them.

But then again, if you don't provide enough, they might turn the situation around and jump to conclusion that you’re not sincere because there are millions of ways to earn money. They believe that you’re not trying hard enough to get them, sometimes.

Having said so, why do men still submit to their nonsense? Is it really true love? A one girl man? Well guess what, guys are not like that, no offence. They (girls) have something we need, which is sex, according to Maslow Hierarchy of needs. If the girls can work their charm on us, so can we. So why go through the trouble when the ending is always the same? or assuming something that ends the same. Well for that, we have to ask god. We're either too smart to do something simple or too stupid to choose a difficult path.

But hey! Even if the girl doesn't portray the need to spend, situation still force us to spend unrationally. Most guys are happy when do something good for their love ones. But of course, never turn the situation around and use it as a defence by saying "I spend a lot on you and I hope you show some gratitude".

So how should we approach girls? The best way to get a girl is to follow the tip in saving money and treat them with respect. But let me get it straight, respect doesn’t mean good and respect doesn’t mean showering her with sweet and caring words. Be confident in front of them and treat them accordingly based on manners, soft spoke-ness, and other suave personality. This will make them feel at home and not to categorize you as an annoying magnet sticking on their nerves. Moreover, your efforts are more than welcome to their idealistic boyfriend.

After you succeed in getting the person you want, you’ll be puzzle about maintenance. This is also another simple step that we often ignore. Just communicate more, be it a hobby or future prospect, this way both of you will understand each other more.

However, discussions come arguements, we all know that. But try not to lose your cool when she’s not being understanding, chances are that you are assuming something about her and she's assume something about you. Make sure both of you see each others point thoroughly before jumping into any conclusion.

Well, I can't nature you all the way, there are many aspect in a relationship that you have to learn it the hard way. And every girl is still a mystery. So absorb it positively and see if what I’ve said make any sense to you.

Best regards for wasting your fucking time with me,
Good bye.